I read a great article, by an amazing Human Being, that I admire. Which got me to thinking. He talked about “Holding Space”. Which set me on a path of thinking about what I feel about “Holding Space”.
I have to admit; my Ego got the best of me. I’m one of those people that doesn’t initially like “popular” things and I almost always question what’s “normal” and “popular”. So, the term “Holding Space” made me feel a little queasy because of its Pop Culture use but that being said, I was intrigued by the article, to say the least, and I want to honor my new place of understanding of “Holding Space”.
After much thought I realize, for me, “Holding Space” is as my friend said creating the “container” and it’s a Sacred place of safety, non-judgement and lack of fear. It’s a place we “create” for ourselves and others… that allows the shame we might feel, in sharing such deeply personal vulnerabilities, a place to be seen and held, with love, non-judgement and acceptance… instead of the response we might have in another situation …to hide our deepest truths within ourselves, while we continue wearing the mask of acceptability.
But as equally important to “Holding Space” is the “Filling of Space” which again, like my friend pointed out, is about the “container”. It’s about thWant to add a caption to this image? Click the Settings icon. e content of the experience. The words, thoughts, actions, intentions, expressions, the processes, and ultimately the connections we create. We create a safe container with every single action, intention, thought and belief!
Here’s the dilemma…
To be able to allow others to be fully seen, to be “held” and allow ourselves the potential for growth, transformation, revelation and change we have to feel both held and filled.
What exactly does this mean?
So many today, feel un-
grounded and confused yet yearn to grow, learn and evolve, while simultaneously being terrified that the process might show the depth of our self-ignorance and fear.
We expect others to hold this “space” for us, which definitely can help our movement forward but sometimes there’s no one that is capable of holding the level of safety and groundlessness we need to move through our process of evolution and do we actually have the right to expect others to take on the responsibility of creating such a “Space” for us?
As I thought about this more, I realized that when no one is able to “Hold Space” for us and we need space to be held, it became clear, that we must learn to create the “container” and “fill the container” ourselves! Which means we need to learn to let our Egos go, along with the voices of other people’s ideas of who we’re supposed to be and be “Still”. In that stillness we can learn to hold “space” for our fears, disappointments and self judgement and even our unfounded groundlessness and unmet needs by the outside world.
We ARE the “container” already and we’re “filling” the container anyhow! Why not allow ourselves to be present for the most important presence?
Can we allow ourselves to surrender while we’re still feeling unmet by the outside world and not even sure we can feel safe within ourselves? What other choice do we have?
I’m not saying it’s easy by any means and there’s no right way. There’s not a clear-cut path for ALL of us to follow but there is a path! I don’t know your path. Some days, I don’t even know my own. I do know that Surrender is an option and growth never comes out of playing it safe!
I invite you to move beyond your comfort zone. I invite you to see the “container” and the “space within” in yourself. Change will only manifest if you allow it and if you’re willing to do the work. I invite you to find the space within yourself and outside yourself, that you can feel safe, or at least, be still enough to allow the truth through the cracks in your armor.