The Sacred "No"
In our society sometimes expressing what we need is viewed as “selfish”.
I have heard, that “people are selfish these days” and “It’s just a “Me Me Me World today”, “People don’t care about anyone but themselves”. Does this sound familiar?
When we hear this, know, it’s others limited programming that is speaking. As we can only operate from the highest level of understanding at any given time.
Which leads to what I call living a “contrary life”, by that I mean, listening to the adverse or negative aspects and doing the opposite in spite of them.
We’ve all had experiences that we didn’t listen to the warning voice in our heads, and we did whatever we were warned not to do anyhow, only to regret doing it later because something told us prior not to do it and we completely ignored that voice.
Which brings me to the Sacred “No” …
The ability to honor our sacred truth, that part of us that knows what’s right for us means that we no longer can be manipulated, guilted, shamed or coaxed into things that are not right for us.
This is where we create a practice, a unique habit that brings us back to center. We will make mistakes, and we should, otherwise how would we learn how to do it better each time?
It takes “practice” to create boundaries.
It takes “practice” to stand up for ourselves
It takes “practice” to fail and learn to get back up and try again.
And in time we learn the peace that speaks to us from within. We learn that taking care of ourselves is OUR priority, after all, who else is going to do that for us?
Modeling healthy boundaries comes from saying “No ty I’m not feeling up to it today but maybe another time?” or
“No ty, I appreciate the thought though”
Or even “No…. I thought I made that clear”
People will push you as far as you let them. Our boundaries are OUR responsibility and those who wish to cross them will sometimes not recognize that.
It can be scary, confrontational and painful if we feel we are not valued, and our boundaries are not respected. This unfortunately, can lead to the opposite of loving thoughts. We can become angry, bitter, silently ashamed and the opportunity to continue spiraling downward continues.
What we have not been taught is that we have a sacred duty to ourselves. How can we expect to “know” something or understand anything, quite frankly, unless we learn them through our own experiences or we are taught them through teachers via parents, siblings, friends, co-workers etc.?
If one does not honor thyself, there is no container, which is needed to honor that outside our self. We need the experience, the knowledge, the feeling of what it is to be sovereign and unique. To have felt discomfort of one crossing a boundary and the truth of that. That deeply personal experience becomes part of our unique spiritual experience.
We have learned well the ability to ignore our personal boundaries. We’ve been supported in a society that does not honor our uniqueness, that does not respect our individuality and because of this we have generationally learned to disconnect from the truth within.
Sitting alone in silence, through the uncomfortableness we may find ourselves deep within. We are waiting to be “heard and seen”.
As we allow ourselves to experience the pain, shame, fear, sorrow, beauty, and oneness with ourselves we are able to “rewrite our own history”. We can heal our generational wounds in a single moment. For, it is a moment alone that brings us to the apex of our existence. We have the power to heal!
Not only are women a portal from the Earth plane to the Divine plane, as the nature of our very existence but we are the medicine women of our lineages. We have the ability to stand courageously and show our children and grandchildren how to lovingly take care of themselves.
We are here at a unique time, we hold keys that open doors to a past we may not even know but have paid the price for. Our divinity has been given many names but it still ours to claim.
Like any experience, we can sit and watch others, or we may step fully into ourselves and refuse to let others dictate. Either way, there is no judgement. Either way, lessons will be learned. Either way, we will need to choose. Sometimes daily, sometimes hourly, sometimes more. We are given the opportunity over and over and over. As long as we have breath in us, we are given another opportunity.
Opportunity to say “No Thank you” to others when it does not feel at home within us and to say “Yes” to ourselves.
Just like the oxygen on a plane analogy. If we do not take care of ourselves, how do we expect to be able to help those around us?
Regardless of the decisions we make, muting the noise and distractions around us is the key to being able to honor the self. This a personal process for each of us. What works for one person, may not work for another. But you’ll know when it’s working for you. It’s like reading instructions in a book and then actually having hands on experience.
Find moments of “joy”. A cat playing, a baby laughing, hanging out with friends, taking a walk, watching a movie, calling a relative, sitting in nature. Whatever it is that brings you peace and joy this is your Portal to yourself.
The answers are ALWAYS available to us!
Others will try to walk through a boundary from time to time and we’re given the opportunity educate them with our ability to say “No Thank you”
I want to support every single one of us to become the best versions of ourselves and in doing so empowering us to recognize our unique boundaries so that we may be of the highest service in whatever field we have chosen to serve in.
May you find the wonder in who you are….