In our youth we have are our own ideas, thoughts and beliefs that make our worlds what they are (I certainly did). I not only thought I was right. I knew it! I would argue my point of view and try to convince others of how right I was. I can see now, how that was battling during an uphill climb. It can be lonely and exhausting. But it’s what I did to confirm my world around me was real. Though I've learned and done a great deal of changing since then, I realize that one can never truly know the magnitude of what they don’t know, so I speak from where I am now, and in the future, I’ll probably have even more to say.
When one is searching, one finds they must learn how to feel into the depths of themselves. What I mean by this is, in the search for meaning, purpose, tribe, or our place in this world we all stumble and fall from time to time. Most of us have probably heard the saying “It’s not important how many times you fall, it’s important how many times you rise” by Nelson Mandela. There must be something to it.
I can see now, that I had a choice to look at my “mistakes” as a burden or to learn from them by turning them into incredible opportunities. Because, well, we’re not as perfect as we’d like to be! We can try to avoid making mistakes and pretend things will stay the same, but change is inevitable. Change provides us with new questions, new thoughts and new curiosities that we would have never known before they came along because we see from a different place. I’ve discovered that perfection isn’t the goal, as much as we might think it is, and we have a choice whether we learn and grow or not.
We’ve all met someone along our path that refuses to admit any wrong doing or who acts as if they know all the answers. But if we really allow ourselves to think about it both of these stances are defeating. We will never know everything, and we all make mistakes.
Arrogance becomes ignorance when authenticity is devoid.
As I see it, the dark side of seeking is actually in those moments when we’re presented with the opportunity to learn and grow, to release the Ego (edging God out as Wayne Dyer use to say) and yet we refuse to allow their lessons in.
Allowing the emotions to flow through us and not live in us is where the freedom to choose comes from. It clears a path that allows us to see beyond our perceived limitations. I know it sounds impossible but that’s the point! The impossible is made possible by stepping aside and allowing the river to do its job, flow. We can’t know what we don’t know. Those are our moments of limitation but once we do know, then we can never be the same because we recognize our unlimited capabilities.
We can start by trying to be aware of our own resistance and start noticing when we’re uncomfortable, when we don’t know something, or when we’ve made a mistake. We can accept where we are, we can allow ourselves to deeply feel where we are. These are the first steps towards being authentic and honoring our true existence. It's here we can be greeted by the life and people we’ve been looking for. In this place of what we too often think of as dark, and even shameful, is where one of many of our potentials for our dream life lies.
If you’re happy with your life, that’s fantastic! I’m genuinely happy for you! If you’re not, the beauty is (and yes there is beauty here too), you have the power to change it!
Happiness doesn’t have to come from one specific place. Look around you, it’s everywhere! Everyone’s story is unique. We were all given the freedom of choice. What we do with our choices creates our story and our story becomes our life.
One can not expect to find that which they themselves do not allow to exist within. What are you willing to feel, in order to become who you wish to be?